Are you prepared?
AUTHOR: Michelle Petrowski, CFP®, CDFA®
Well, I guess that could mean a lot of things. But right now, for me, as I sit in the emergency room waiting for my “husband” "Jack", it means “Am I prepared for an unplanned “Health/medical” event ?’, while I'm mentally reviewing my “incomplete’ estate planning. All the things on my “to do” list that I haven’t done… Does this sound familiar at all?
As an advisor and a planner I counsel and advise clients on just this and tell them all the things that “they” need to do, because a Healthcare event or accident only seems to happen to somebody else, and that's really never the case. I don't know if, as human beings we just want to pretend that we’re super men and women, inherently don’t want to consider our own mortality on some level or what the actual story is that we tell ourselves.
The reality is that me, you, them never know when something will happen
This has been a crazy last 24 months for sure. My mother, a woman who appeared to be a perfectly healthy 76 year old, was diagnosed and passed away from stage 4 cancer within 6 months, and I’ve had “the pleasure” of being her executor and dealing with that nightmare (including her spouse) for the last 16 months. My uncle, my mom’s brother, and last living patriarchal member of my family, was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer and died a week ago along with my ex-mother-in-law... and now this.
Maybe the universe is screaming at me, and I am listening...
WHAT HAPPENED
So we went to dinner last night. Literally last night (as of when I wrote this). We had a drink and ordered our meal. "Jack" was thirsty and went inside the restaurant to get a glass of water from the bar. The bartender wasn't there so he headed back out outside to our table on the patio. As he approached the door, he said felt a little dizzy, his legs a little wobbly and as he reached for the door he fell completely forward face down onto the concrete patio just three feet in front of me. I didn't even actually see him fall as I was looking down at my phone while sitting at a high-top table. When I heard a loud thud, I looked up and saw the door to the restaurant open. I wondered, “Why is the door remaining open?”. So I got up to see why and I see Jack lying on the patio, face down with his legs straight out, his arms to the side as if he didn’t even try to break his fall with his arms or legs. The thud I heard was his skull hitting the concrete. I got up and rushed over to him along with a few of the other patrons that heard the noise and a man from inside the restaurant rushed out and tell me what he saw before my husband touched the door. Suffice it to say, I’ll leave the remaining details out... BTW he is in his late 40's
UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Sure, I have this great estate planning binder at home that has lots of things about my accounts and financials. I even told & showed my kids where it is... But….
· We have joint accounts, and we keep separate accounts as well for which we've never shared passwords with each other.
· We have Health Care Powers of Attorney and Healthcare Directives, but we don't have updated copies in our strong box at home, our safe deposit box at the bank, or that we shared with my kids.
· We don’t have electronic copies in the cloud or saved in our emails, so we could share them with the hospital easily, nor did we file either document with the hospital system closest to our house.
· We don't have our medical histories written out succinctly and shared with each other (or my kids) on paper and electronically “just in case”.
Does any of this sound familiar? At the expense of embarrassing myself, I’m totally outing myself because of the importance here. Yes, even planners are human.
TAKEAWAYS - How can you be prepared for the unexpected?
This is scary. I'm wondering what we will be told and if our time together has or will be cut short.
I know I may be preaching to the choir so please be patient as I feel it necessary to share this cautionary tale and just list some items as a refresher from my last night’s pondering in the ER:
MEDICAL HISTORY - Have your medical histories written out succinctly and shared with each other (and others of importance like your kids) on paper and electronically “just in case”.
2. BENEFICIARIES -Ensure your bank & investment accounts all have POD’s (pay on
death designations) for the correct party. Contact your institutions to get the
current beneficiary titling to identify needed changes. Likewise check life insurance
and annuity policies (see above).
3. DIGITAL ASSETS - Create a password sharing system for digital assets with each
other so you’re not stressing at a bedside.
4. ESTATE PLANNING DOCUMENTS
o Create your Healthcare Power of Attorney, Financial Power of Attorney,
Healthcare Directives, will, trust etc. as needed (our kids even need the first 3 if
they are over 18) and review them periodically with an Estate Planning Attorney
o Have a folder or binder that lists all your accounts, the institutions and
names/phones numbers of important contact in a location you share with loved
ones and people of importance in your life.
5. DOCUMENT ACCESS
o Put updated Health Care Powers of Attorney and Healthcare Directives in our
strong box at home (so it’s accessible) ,maybe a safe deposit box at the bank,
and or share original or copies with applicable parties (even you kids just in
case). If comfortable, consider a digital folder in the cloud that is shared with
each other/Kids and your agent to store electronic copies for easy access.
o File either document with the hospital system closest to your house that you
will be taken to as well as the one of your choice in case you want to be
transported for specialized care (Mayo clinic, Schneider’s etc.).
According to CNBC article, various studies cite that 80% of women will be the the primary financial deicsion maker in their lives either by choice or not (divorce or widowhood). So we need to be prepared.
Which ones are still outstanding for you?
What will you commit to completing in the net week?
I will create a more comprehensive list to share, as well as "executor" tips when your loved one passes away, but these are my thoughts as I’m typing and waiting right now from a hospital bedside.
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